无处安放的青春

　　她和他的相遇并不是精心安排，却让她心动不已，虽然进入大学之前她没有恋爱过，却也很清楚这种不由自主的心动叫做喜欢，而埋在心底的喜欢叫做暗恋。她和他虽然同却不同班，所以仅会在上大班课的时候才会遇到他。作为好好学生的她永远都坐在靠讲台的位子，而他却永远都是往后坐，为了可以远远的看到他，每次到上大班课的时候，她总是会编各种理由脱离室友的大队伍，然后踏着铃声匆匆地坐到后一排，有时甚至是他的后面。那时她真的觉得自己离他好近好近，至少自己抬头就能看到他。有时候偶然的四目相对让她脸颊通红，不知所措地低头躲避，当然她很清楚他并不是在看她。

　　因为喜欢，好多时候她会为他做自己力所能及的事情，也许这些事情他不会在乎，也许他永远都不会知道是谁在帮他做，可是即使这样她也很开心，很满足。虽然她很清楚这些事情可能会假公济私，也可能有违老师的信任，但是在那个时候内心的满足感打败了这种负罪感，也许这就是喜欢的力量吧。

　　她有一个好朋友刚好是他的室友，于是她每次总会故意地提起他，然后静静的听她朋友讲他在寝室发生的事，那时候她会为自己多了解了他一点而嘴角上扬。渐渐的次数多了，她朋友开始有所察觉了，于是在强行的拷问下她承认了，承认了她对他的暗恋，她朋友也心甘情愿的成为了她的线人。

　　这种状态就这样持续到了大二暑假前夕，她朋友劝他可以试着迈出步，劝她努力一下，劝她大不了失败了还是回到现在的状态。在考虑了一个晚上之后她终于决定晚一天回家，决定在那天晚上对他表白，不管怎么样不能总是做隐形人啊。她朋友也就肩负起在那天晚上把他约在的地点的重任。在室友影响中永远是一放假就马上回家的她突然要晚一天回家，大家都很好奇，但是看她意志坚决的样子也就都没劝什么了，在提醒她晚上一个人小心点后就陆陆续续的回家了。记不得那天她一个人是怎么过的白天，也记不得她准备了哪些话要说给他听，只记得她早早的在与朋友约定的操场待。放假后的学校特别的安静，安静的可以听见自己的心跳声。偶而的会有一二个人走向她这边，每次这个时候她都会心跳加快，睁大眼镜去确认是否有他，可是结果都是失望，被失望了好几次后她开始感到不安，开始接连地给她朋友打电话，可是电话一直是没人接。晚上在仅有她一个人的寝室里，她哭了，哭的很伤心、很无奈、很失落。也许是哭累了吧，迷迷糊糊的她睡着了。

　　第二天收拾行李时，手机响了，是她朋友打来的，犹豫再三后她接起了电话，朋友告诉她昨天下午他们几个哥们打篮球，有个哥们不小心摔了下去，情况危急下他们什么也没拿就上了救护车，当然也忘了自己与她的约定，晚上陪护时想起来了却发现没法与她联系，也没法在当时说明情况让他回来与她见面。突然间她明白了，原来有些秘密注定了是应该埋在心底的，上天是不会给机会让你把它说出来的，就算你下定决心把它说出来了也是无果的，因为那差距还是会在那，不适合的还是不会因为一些努力就会变成适合。
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